Embracing Authenticity in the Afternoon of Life
As the sun hangs behind the trees peaking through onto the field of my gaze. I stop at the base of a chestnut tree near my home. I feel this imprint on my soul as the spirit of God gives me an imagination for what I have studied for three years. Personality and trauma. We all have both. But so many questions around what needs acceptance and what needs the transforming power of grace.
Carl Jung aptly observed that “the afternoon of life cannot be lived according to the program of life’s morning. Indeed, what resonated deeply in our youth may lose its significance, and truths we held dear often morph into lies as time weaves its tapestry of experience.”
Let me illustrate the imprint that I believe the Holy Spirit made on me as I picked up the two chestnuts in their very different forms. The first half of life, we diligently constructed our identities, seeking power, control, safety, security, affection, and esteem. Like a young chestnut coat, we adorned ourselves with an outer layer, priding ourselves on its impenetrability and protection from scavengers. This coat shielded our vulnerabilities, silently nurturing the seed of our true selves hidden within, but guarded from many.
Marilyn Vancil, in her book Self to Loose, Self to Find, beautifully illustrated this dichotomy, comparing our authentic self to a seed within a protective coat. In this metaphor lies a profound truth: shedding this coat reveals our vulnerable essence, capable of bearing fruit and sprouting new life. When free from this outer shell… “we can more freely send our roots down into the love and presence of God as the foundation of our being. In doing so, we will find our true identity in Him.” So, as we embark on the arduous journey of caring for our souls, we must strip off the layers that no longer serve us – defense mechanisms, justifications, and insecurities. This is the work of caring for the soul!
In the second half of life, we start to realize that our conscious self was merely a fraction of our true identity. The flesh, once solely responsible for bolstering our importance, now humbly bows in service of the true spirit led self – the soul. This grounded sense of self requires a delicate balance, for the flesh becomes the container that fortifies and safeguards the depths of our being. There has to be enough internal safety with God, self, and others to begin shedding.
No formula, no steps can be prescribed for this awakening. Instead, we must embark on a journey of observation and mindfulness. Take note of the triggers, the needs, and the armor we wear to protect ourselves, as Brene Brown wisely imparts. “True courage lies in acknowledging the fear and embracing vulnerability with open arms.” She says, “In our quest, we must create spaces where armor becomes obsolete, spaces that celebrate the beauty of vulnerability.”
Trust a chosen few with the sacred secrets of your soul and witness the power of genuine connection. Cultivate an environment where safety is found in your presence, where the growth of others is nurtured, and where authenticity thrives. Let us embrace the unfolding of our souls, opening our hearts and widening our perspectives, for the second half of life offers a profound opportunity for expansion, transformation, and truly being known.
As we surrender to the rhythm of life, we unravel the skills and insights that accumulated during the initial journey – the wisdom that accompanies the afternoon sun. By witnessing the ebb and flow of existence, the illusion of self protection fades away, enabling us to embrace the inherent safety with God and connection to ourselves.
In the afternoon of life, where shadows and light dance with equal importance, we discover the magic that comes from living authentically. The optimism weaves its way into our beings as we stand firm, aware that this is but one chapter in the grand tapestry of existence, a chapter where courage, vulnerability, and self-discovery paint the canvas with vibrant hues. As we surrender to the unfolding journey, we find solace in the truth that the seed coat has finally cracked, revealing the magnificent beloved soul within, ready to flourish and create anew.
I invite you to join this opening!
A new set of resilient soul coaching groups are forming now around this type of work. Completely virtual, and a fraction of the cost of individual coaching. $90 per month. I am gathering groups of 4-6 people for 8 weeks to engage group soul care work.
The hope is to lean into a retreat at the end for whomever is able to join us at Shiny Eyes Retreat in East TN. (Not required)
I plan to keep our focus using attachment theory, enneagram and trauma informed resources. Expect prayer, poetry and contemplative exercises. Then some good questions to go deep on as a group.
Group Flow
Week 1- felt safety and the nervous system/ instincts
Week 2- attachment and my relationships, emotional styles
Week 3- embodied awareness and resilient resources
Week 4- soul care and intelligence centers
Week 5- love styles, conflict styles, and time styles
Week 6- trigger mapping and moving through disturbances
Week 7- imagination and contemplative practices in faith
Week 8 – individual Resilience GOALS
To express interest just email me at [email protected]
or click Contact Us.
